I just want to personally thank you for all you have done in my life. And millions of others too. God only knows what kind of mess we get ourselves into when you don’t work, or when you’re not there.
You’re there for us through everything. When we just need a funny cat video to cheer us up, when we want to wallow in our own self-pity by listening to sad songs or when we need to find the answer to a question to embarrassing to ask anyone else. You know all of our secrets and the strange things we search for at two o’clock in the morning. When we’re researching you save us the labour of peeling through long and boring books by finding us the answers in a few clicks.
The thing about you is that you’re always there when we need you. As soon as we ask you a question you answer it. You don’t lie, you don’t ignore us or make us feel bad. You’re an endless orb of information at our beck and call, raring for us to delve into the wonders and secrets you hold. Who needs love, who needs friends, when you’re here?
You’ve changed the world with your magical informative powers and I want to show my appreciation. Thanks, Internet.